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Self Portrait

by Decontrolled

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1.
Prelude 01:57
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There is no hope, no savior to help me be, Every night those mirrors they are chasing, they're haunting me, Just to test if I could make it. In the dark skies her eyes forever glittering, Wells without an end, deep down they're tearing me, I'm lost in myself, I'm lost in my misery. Stand in front of the mirror, looking at the eyes of my greatest nightmare, See, this man without you can never be the same, Tonight I hear the cries of a sad soul, song of sorrow, song of grief, Just before the dawn I'll fade away, searching for relief. Madness cried out, my sanity's in dark and, There is nothing more in there just heart as cold as ice, Can't bare that pressure anymore. A silent voice came from an unknown place, "No more fear of pain and her smiling face", One way to escape and the only way to forget, ...what you are. here i stand in front of the mirror,looking at the eyes of my greatest nightmare, i say goodbye and tonight i hear the cries of a sad soul leaving never to be seen, nothing to live for. Stand in front of mirror! Searching for relief! In front of mirror!
2.
Alt + F4 = ESC 03:11
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Find a way, to escape, to be free… Loneliness cuts like a knife, I can’t stand this painful life, Show me the way in the night, Set my spirit free. Tomorrow, I’ll be forsaken, My life cruelly taken, My soul free from the chains, My body free from the pain. If this is all I am, I’ll find another way to escape, to be free, If this is all I’ll be, I’ll need another way to escape, set me free, This is not enough, I’ll find another way to escape, to be free, I will break my way out, I’ll find another way to escape, set me free. Devil laughs into my face, I know that I can’t win this race, He opens his mouth and swallows my soul, Everything’s getting out of control. Damned to live my broken dreams, In my mind these demonic screams, In the mirror, that is not me, End my life and set me free. If this is all I am, I’ll find another way to escape, to be free! If this is all I’ll be, I’ll need another way to escape, set me free!
3.
Unleashed 03:47
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Walking down the dusty streets, I watch the concrete sky And I know I can’t escape from it, no matter how I try Long time ago, somebody said, “Our fate lies in the stars” What should I say, I don’t dig that shit, but sometimes I can’t fight it Always spinning in the circles, same old shit day after day Always feeling fucking fragile, ‘cause every step I take betrays Sometimes, I feel like dreaming, when I dream my life away ‘Cause the future rarely smiles at me, lurking like a bird of prey I don’t want to fade away like the sun into dusk I don’t want to be afraid to stand up and fight God we never spoke much, I know I’m not a great believer Still nothing costs to ask you just to listen up to this dreamer I never asked a thing before, all I did, I did on my own But now I beg you to set me free, scrape me off this misery Or just look at all those people, simply walking down the street Hope is long gone from their eyes and now they’re dealing with their own defeat So I write these rhymes for you, that’s the only thing I can do That’s the only thing I’ve got left, when there’s nothing left to cling to I don’t want to fade away (like the sun into dusk) like the sun into dusk I don’t want to be afraid to stand up and fight, (for life)
4.
Nameless 02:46
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All alone in the corner, his walls are closing in, Constantly repeating this must be a bad dream, Like a thorn within, like a weight in his heart, Paranoia increases, it’s tearing him apart. Do you know how it feels to be a waste of society? Faceless without pride, or a dignity, Now raise your voice, get your ass out of shadow, Don’t let them pull you down to the bottom. Nameless spoke in name of all his kind, This life is just another lie! Nameless spoke in name of every… I will leave it all be hind! Nameless spoke in name of all his kind, This life is just another lie! Nameless spoke in name of every… I will leave it all behind! Now break the chains that drag you down, Don’t let them push you around, Spit in their faces, seek your revenge, Show them what you’re made of. Once he was broken, now’s finally free, So stand up for yourself, ‘cause worse, it can’t be, If you just hide away in your fear of me, Oppressed, nameless you’ll be. Stand up for yourself, raise your voice and yell Don’t let them get away, don’t be afraid to say
5.
Awakening pt.1 04:22
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Well, I finally realize what meant the pictures, Wedged deep into my mind, ever vivid, No illusions left, they’re all broken, Feelings once lost now recreated. No Don’t try to make this mind feel the sorrow Now I’ll try and take this pain to history I’m waking up, rearranging the pictures, It’s so hard to collect the pieces of broken consciousness, Yet safe in my belief, so eager, I wait for tomorrow, To outlive the world that forced me to murder! No! This time I’m staying strong, so free! Now! I’ll try, deny this pain, this misery! Why… I… Why… I… Why I had to try to die, Someone tell me, Why I had to try to die, So I can be free.
6.
Reality check failure 05:22
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I resolved it, I resolved everything I had, With myself, with my mind, I got tired; I got tired of waiting, For this "thing" to become a life, "Sometimes I cut myself bleeding, To make sure that I'm still alive", Now I'm losing touch, With everything that's real, I close my eyes waiting to wake up... ...it all could be so much better. So what am I, I'm pain, I'm love, I'm sore, I'm bliss, I was waiting for you to see, I loved, I begged, But it just weren't enough, Well I'm sorry… 2x So, what now, When everything is over, Before it has begun! So, what now, When everything is over, Before it has begun, I can't deny more than I already have, I turned away when I should take my stand, Now all I have is this demon called the past… To remind me, And to drive the sleep out of my nights!!! ...we all could be so much better. So what am I, I'm pain, I'm love, I'm sore, I'm bliss, I was waiting for you to see, I loved, I begged, But that just wasn't enough, Well I'm sorry
7.
Shadow Hunter 06:36
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Sometimes I feel so hollow, Entire future melts to past, Do I live this life too shallow? For how long it’s gonna last. Even now, I will set this body on fire, Just to find a way to ease through, All the pain behind the desire, I’ll leave it all behind. Burns inside of me, oh, my god, it burns inside of me, So fucking hard… Leave it all behind. Words can’t describe just how I feel, There is no cure for this sorrow, As if I never wanted to live, I’m forced where I never belonged. I will set this body on fire, Just to find a way to be free, All the pain will cease on this pyre, I’ll leave it all behind. so time has come to lit a match and set the flames for my own savior it seems , too many times i thought it will be ok so why wont we all lit a match and set the trace to our own failure it seems now its the only way to leave it all behind...
8.
Self Portrait 04:16
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Now I'm still Can't bare this for long Somehow it seems I am forcing this life To be like a God Feeling so sick taking everything, got no thing to give You speak to me Words of a bitter truth What I've failed to see Unable to move for you I fight the one inside The other one, but I lose the last round So, desperate, I agitate It’s a never-ending deviation Hollow pending... I will never know why I still stand “And time will come When I'll see the sun And all the love I missed Yet deserved Won't be too far Till then I'll carry the burden of being me, every day” I'm out tonight, I'm fully loaded I chase a dream, which I cannot reach Disconnecting mind Let a body rule I wish not to wish, I wish not to see How I stuttered When I should speak, Broken down where I should stand How I've dropped you down Everything How peacefully I've waited, waited, for the end Sometimes I feel like I'm the enemy Your faith is such a hard thing to gain Is that what you see in me? So many things I know, that you can never see See I'm not naive I'll get what I need All alone, it's just me and these walls They can all hear my whispers They keep all, all the beauty The secrets that were meant for you What we have made Time will never change What we've been, no one will ever be What I've wished, I've failed to see Say it again, wanna hear it, from you, the end… What we have made, you will never… You will never forget Sometimes I feel like I'm the enemy "So what?!? So what?!" she says... So many things I know, that you could never see See I'm not naïve, can’t you see? Sometimes I FEEL AS IF I AM the enemy, Your faith is such a hard thing to gain, That's all you saw in me, So many things I was, that you could never see See I'm not naive; I've got what I need
9.
Awakening pt.2 03:18
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Enter my world, this hate now grows Smell my air and see my colors This time there will be no mourn No display of all of my horrors I fucked up death, I control my life Feeling with my heart, thinking with my mind Inside, burns a new desire Across dark skies tonight I start a fire Fervent air in every breath I've taken Something in me screams, screams to be awaken Survival is a need, only you and me Now we race for the last time, alive on a finish line Now I am your new messiah And the world's all mine, though corrupted it's benign it's mine I'll take it for a spin one more time. Now, I will start a fire Spread out the wave of a clear mind Selfish and thinking of itself cause this is My playground Now Who are you to judge if I belong? All this pain I feel somehow made me strong Pale and hollow and with no fear Be silent, in a moment it'll disappear I'm still here, it was a nice try Maybe you'll catch something of my smile Made you wish to breathe, you don't wish to see Survivor in me, one who made me be So hear it motherfucker, I'll engrave it in your face Leave a mark, draw a line, start your fuckin misplace This place, this time, for the rest of my life I will live in no dreams, take no denies world. mine. it's it's mine. for. spin. one more time. breath. way. clear my head. of this. it's my playground.
10.
Untitled.exe 04:20
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When the world you know is grey, and grief is all you feel, What’s one supposed to do? He walked these empty streets, no feelings lined his face, Cruel peacefulness… SILENCE!! PAIN! and… SORROOOOW!!! He tries to understand the scenes, And day after day he fails, until, vividly clear it comes to only one way, I’ll end it now, no doubts impede my thought, The real world around us won’t forgive what we take lightly, The sorrow that we make is so real, We try to fight us, but we’ve got no way of fighting, This perfect pain, oh, sweet ignorance. Lay to bed at night, feeling all is well, Satisfied with what you did today, But what you did not do, reflects more who you are, So tell me, are you really satisfied?! ARE YOU… SATISFIED?!? Lie to yourself, lie to your god, look in my eyes and smile! This is just a beginning to your private paradise, Just wait and see what the future holds for you, And when the time is right, and all the pieces fit, Keep trying hard, but you’ll never swallow… …your own shit… (the sorrow that we make is so real...) Swallow what we made to be so real!! (the real world around us won’t forgive what we take lightly…) We try to fight us, but we’ve got no way of fighting, Now this is all, this emptiness, this pain!!! (the real world around us won’t forgive what we take lightly…) When there’s nothing left to cling to, when there’s nothing more to gain, (the real world around us won’t forgive what we take lightly…) PAIN!

about

Decontrolled debut album - 2008

credits

released November 21, 2008

Music/Lyrics: Marko Mr.Metal Tica
except: Alt+F4=ESC: Andrea Baskin, Marko Mr.Metal Tica
Mix, production, mastering: Marjan Mijic, Marko Mr.Metal Tica

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Decontrolled Banja Luka, Bosnia and Herzegovina

After almost 5 year break...band is resurrected! We are back online with our old material and bunch of new material on it's way! So stay tuned!

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